Thoughts in a Skitoliv World

Christmas has come and gone. The Skitoliv World hopes that you and yours had a happy and healthy holiday, filled with tons of joy and cheer. The New Year now hits us like a brick, especially if you have a hangover that morning, and the Skitoliv World decided it would look back at the year that just happened to it (being the Skitoliv World).

January: The Skitoliv World opened the New Year by rockin’ the casbah at Ned Devine’s in Herndon, VA. The Red Warrior, Madness, Kangril-la, Samwise and the future Duck all were there to see Chorduroy. The Red Warrior proved the big winner of the evening by locking lips with no fewer than three young ladies. The Skitoliv World continued with its MBA studies at the U taking a Winter Session class. Money, WNBA, A.K. and the Mad Transylvania all were in the class and now a year later I can not tell you what it was about. The Skitoliv World family lost their beloved Uncle Tom Mooney, the humble parish priest. I am sure he is now chasing golf balls down in heaven.

February: February saw the beginning of the best thing to ever happen; that, of course, being the first column in "Thoughts in a Skitoliv World." The Skitoliv World wants to thank Princess Johnny "The Swan" Weir for drawing our ire so badly, that the only way to get rid of it is through taking shots at you in an online blog. Once more just for fun, figure skating is the most ridiculous thing ever, and there is nothing anyone can say to convince me otherwise.

Spring session began at the ‘U’ causing the Skitoliv World to lose many many hours of sleep and to wail at the uselessness of some classes.

March: The Skitoliv World almost died for the first time. The breaks on the Wraith failed, nearly causing the Skitoliv World to die in New Jersey. Fortunately, The Skitoliv World was able to get to the shoulder and coast to a stop. This was the beginning of the odyssey of the Wraith’s breaks.

March saw the wedding of the Skitoliv World’s youngest sister, Dizzy-Lizzer to A-Pells. Quite the time was had by all.

St. Patrick’s day found the Skitoliv World carrying Madness from the metro stop back to his condo. This was not so bad except for Madness being covered in his own stuff, he had a bad trip on the Metro.

April: April found the Skitoliv World slogging through the last few months of graduate school. There was still time to attend the nuptials of Kali and Andy. I have never seen as much rain as that day. The main problem being that the soon-to-be duck and I drove from Wilmington up to WNBA and BFG’s in Manayunk and then over to Balacynwyd or where ever in north Philadelphia the wedding happened. Fun times were had by all and I hope they liked the salad spinner.

May: The Skitoliv World celebrated a birthday during May. Red Warrior, WNBA and BFG accompanied the Skitoliv World to the Red Sox v Phillies at Citizens Bank Park. The Skitoliv World and the Red Warrior drew the ire of the fans by cheering for the Red Sox. They of course knew that their cheering would do this but they did not care.

The Skitoliv World graduated with his MBA. Towards the end, all the projects seemed to run together and even WNBA finally said "It is good enough, bottom line is we are all graduating."

WNBA found out she was pregnant. Still one of the funniest things of the year. "Hey you remember when I was sick last week and you told me I was pregnant? Well, I am!" The Mad Transylvania promptly named the unborn baby Preston.

The not-as-yet Duck came up to the Poconos for the first time.

June: The Skitoliv World launched its all out attack against scientology. The ridiculousness of this religion that LL Bean Ron Hubbard invented on a bet by writing down some ramblings on the back of a cocktail napkin continues to provide fodder for the column. I hope it never goes away. My newest theory is that LL Bean Ron actually did invent a great religion, but his holy text got switched with a bad sci-fi manuscript he had written and well the rest is history.

The US Soccer team failed at the World Cup, again. I know this was a shock to everyone.

July: The Skitoliv World spent five days up in the Poconos over the fourth of July. Too much hilarity ensued over that weekend. "Finally! An ice cream stand that understands my needs." "Why, yes. I am tired of hot dogs."

Matt and Stacy got married. I hope they like the gravy boat. Matt is friends with the starting OT for the Cowboys, a guy named Marc Columbo. Columbo is at least 6′5" and over 300 pounds. "One more beer and I am gonna go wrassle Columbo."- Chief. Ordinarily I encourage Chief to do stupid things when he is drunk, but even I could not let him do that.

August: The Skitoliv World once again proved it has control over the elements during DSF; eight performances and no rain. The Skitoliv World and Red Warrior stretched their beer pong streak to 2 years without a loss at DSF events.

We lost Feltz this month. A larger than life character and a good Uncle. The man once lifted a piano onto a truck by himself.

Paramount fired Tom Cruise. One of the crucial battles in the war against scientology was won by the good guys (non-scientologists).

The Skitoliv World’s older sister Em-ber married the L.T. This was so much fun with the exception of certain events that we will not go into detail about. The Skitoliv World continues to be amazed at the pettiness of some people.

September: The Skitoliv World announced that it would no longer comment on several people that dominate the headlines in the world.

The Skitoliv World also decided that scientology is a terrorist organization and should be on the no-fly list.

The real world lost Steve Irwin. "Crickey!!!" The President of PETA then stated that Steve "..got what he deserved." The Skitoliv World also believes PETA is a terrorist organization and should be disarmed.

The Duck finally was labeled "The Duck".

The L.T. and The Skitoliv World attended Chief’s bachelor party up in Boston….We think we are still hungover.

Chief and Kelly got married up at Cape Cod. The Skitoliv World and the L.T. ran into the ocean at 1 A.M. The Skitoliv World maintains this is one of the best ideas he has ever had.

October: The Skitoliv World resumed its efforts to point out all of the ridiculous things that "celebrities" do but are accepted by society.

The Skitoliv World finally got all of its stuff unpacked at the new place. Got the place all painted up and looking nice as well.

Alec Baldwin made an ass out of himself at…well does it really matter where? He seems to do that a lot.

The Duck and The Skitoliv World attended the Halloween Loop in Wilmington. They also realized that there is no longer a reason to go on this thing. Too many tourists out and about in their city!

November: The Skitoliv World announced that it would be running for Senate in 2026. The main obstacle that it hopes is resolved by then, is the lack of a viable third party. The Skitoliv World remains a registered GDI (God Damn Independent).

Apparently the Democrats are now in charge of Congress. Does it really matter? I guess it is now their fault that nothing gets done.

The Skitoliv World wrote a heat-felt, tear-jerking obituary for Kevin Federline. What? You mean he is not dead?

Tom "I am not a hetero-sexual but I play one in my own reality" Cruise married Katie "Please save me from these crazy people" Holmes. I hope they like the salad spinner I sent them.

The Skitoliv World also made the statement that celebrities should not be allowed to get married as it only ends in divorce and very ugly divorces at that.

The Skitoliv World ate not one but two complete Thanksgiving dinners this year. First one at Gunning Drive followed by another at Richards Drive home of The Duck’s Family. The World felt like it ate the world that day.

December: December has been a relatively quiet month in the Skitolv World. The Duck and The Skitoliv World have spent much time together including a fun weekend in Washington. Christmas was a great event.

The Skitoliv World was rocked by the passing of its Crazy Aunt Peg…she will never be forgotten.

Well dear readers, have a safe New Year’s celebration. The Skitoliv World will return next year will all the things it thinks you should know.

Tis the season for giving, and receiving; for running around like a crazy person; for searching and searching for that one perfect gift for a special some one, and for all those things that make the Christmas season fantastic. Like many people, I have fond memories of another Christmas tradition, holiday TV specials. The show I would like to talk about today, "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer."

We all know the story, about a young reindeer who "had a very shiny nose, and if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows." The other reindeer put off by Rudolph’s physical abnormality, "used to laugh and call him names." The TV special brings the song to life through the magic of claymation. Upon further review, this could quite possibly be one of the worst things for a child to see. This show promotes the intolerance and humiliation of others, the exploitation of slave labor, the ridicule of those that want to be different and to use people when you need to.

You may ask, "What the hell are you talking about? Has the Skitoliv World finally lost it’s mind? Rudolph tells people not to make fun of others and to accept people for who they are!" That is where you are wrong. At the beginning of the show, Santa comes to see one of his reindeer, Donner and his wife,  give birth to another reindeer. We see the new Rudolph fawn and Santa is praising Donner for siring such a fine young reindeer; however, as soon as Rudolph’s nose glows, Santa himself leads the ridicule of this newborn. What kind of man is Santa to essentially tell Donner that he messed up, his reindeer DNA is corrupted, that they should probably be better of killing the newborn rather than letting it run around the north pole. This of course leads to Rudolph’s tragic childhood where he is ridiculed by everyone from his classmates to his "reindeer coach" who just insults him at every turn. If this movie was made today, it would take a tragic turn with Rudolph bringing a gun to his classes and killing the coach over the abuse he had been taking at his hands.

In the beginning of the film we are also introduced to a young elf named, Herbie. We are not told where the elves have come from or why they are bound to Santa to be his toy making slaves forever. (I am guessing they are cloned). As an elf, Herbie is expected to sit at his station and assemble toys for the rest of his life. Herbie questions why he needs to do this, because, get this, he wants to be a dentist. This of course is not taken well by the head elf. Yet another person that continually insults Herbie, essentially telling him he needs to leave the toy factory, therefore making him an outcast of the community (I am thinking something along the lines of the Amish and shunning).

The two main characters, Rudolph and Herbie decide that the best thing for them to do is leave Santa’s Compound. I can not think of a reason why they would stay, all that has happened to them is verbal abuse and being told they are defective, Rudolph’s own father refuses to acknowledge him. Now comes the real twist. Once these two troublemakers are gone, Santa’s compound is back to the normal run of things until a massive snow storm hits and Santa can not see well enough to pilot his sleigh. He then requests that Rudolph leads the sleigh so that he can see thanks to Rudy’s glowing nose.

This is what gets me, Santa and the others never did anything nice to Rudolph, openly mocking him, shunning him, and causing him to leave the only home he ever knew. Yet, now Santa needs him so all of a sudden, Santa is nice to him. Therefore teaching kids that it is OK to make fun of those who are different, until you need something from them. The duplicity of Santa is exposed. There is a double standard. As a kid you are taught to be nice to others or else Santa will not visit you, yet here is Santa treating a member of his family with scorn and contempt. If Santa was this jolly good guy, wouldn’t he have welcomed Rudolph despite his differences?

Thanks to Rudolph’s nose guiding the sleigh, and Herbie saving everyone from the Abominable Snowman, (who knew Abominable are afraid of pliers?) we are lead to believe that there is a happy ending. Absurd, do you think the other reindeer are now going to forget that Rudolph showed them up like that. I would bet they will now treat him like a brown-noser and a suck-up. Herbie, well, I figure he is allowed to be a dentist thanks to his Abominable Snowman muscle threatening everyone.

So dear readers, don’t let children watch this show, who knows what kind of ideas they are going to get.

I have no idea when I last posted my picks, so my running year to date count is now lost. ah well

Thursday

CINCY over Baltimore - told you so!

Sunday

ST.LOUIS over Arizona - I think the Rams need to spend every draft pick on defensive players. I think the Cardinals first four picks need to be the best Offensive Lineman available so Leinart does not get killed.

Atlanta over WASHINGTON - I think the Falcons should draft a player that can actually catch the ball. I think Washington needs to draft some better D lineman.

Dallas over NEW JERSEY GIANTS - I think the boys need to draft some better safties, i.e. ones that can actually cover people. I think the g-men need to draft better corner backs and guys that can stay healthy.

NEW ENGLAND over Detroit - I think the Pats need to draft any of the following; Jeff Smardjia, Tom Zibikowski, or Paul Pouzluzny. I think the Lions need to draft Brady Quinn and some lineman.

TENNESSEE over Indianapolis - I think the Thumbtacks need to draft some better wideouts to help VY. I think the Colts need to draft some run-stuffing d-lineman.

Jacksonville over MIAMI - I think the Jags need to draft a qb, Garrard is not the long term answer. I think the Dolphins need to draft some better offensive weapons outside of rb.

Kansas City over CLEVELAND - I think the Chiefs need to draft a few more defensive starters. I think Cleveland needs to draft Jake Long, T, Michigan.

CHICAGO over Minnesotta - I think the Bears need to seriously look at a QB in the draft, chad’s boyfriend "sexy" rexy grossman is not getting it done. I think Minnesotta needs to draft a secondary and wr’s that can catch the ball.

GREEN BAY over New Jersey Jets - I think the Packers need to draft some better secondary members. I think the Jets need to draft wideouts and D line.

San Diego over BUFFALO - I think the ‘Bolts need some better wideouts and corners from the draft. I think the Bills will need to take a long look at a QB, Losman is useless.

NEW ORLEANS over San Francisco - I think the Saints will use their picks on defensive help. I think the 49ers will draft some better lineman.

PITTSBURGH over Tampa Bay - I think the Steelers need to draft some better offensive lineman. I think the Bucs need to draft a lot of things.

Houston over OAKLAND - I think the Texans need to draft better lineman. I think that Oakland needs to draft Brady Quinn or Troy Smith.

DENVER over Seattle - I think the Broncos need to draft an Offensive lineman to protect JC for the next 10 or so years. I think the Seahawks need to draft better safeties.

Carolina over Philadelphia - I think the Panthers need to draft offensive line help. I think the Eagles need to draft Dan Conner or Paul Pozluzney.

Welcome back my friends to the column that never ends! The Skitoliv World hopes everyone had a happy and healthy Thanksgiving. Now that that silly holiday is out of the way, it is time for the crazy buying run up to Christmas. I am sure everyone went out at 3AM to the mall in order to get their "Black Friday" deals! Though if you were like the Skitoliv World, you were sound asleep, drunk on trictophans from the massive amounts of turkey you consumed. This year I had not one but two Thanksgiving dinners. The first one was at the friendly confines of Gunning Dr, followed by a short drive to Claire Manor for a second complete dinner at "the duck’s" house. The duck’s dad, I guess that would make him "the mallard", stated that I probably consumed around 10 or 11 thousand calories that day, hearing that is kinda sickening, eh, what can you do.

Just some things that are running around in my Skitoliv brain:

* Cameron Diaz informed the populace that she and former man-bander/sexy-backer Justin Timberlake have  no plans to get married despite their dating for almost four years. Good for you Cameron! This proves that people in Hollywood read "Thoughts in a Skitoliv World". If you remember, earlier I stated that no Hollywood couple should get married as it is just going to end in a divorce. Reader Judith pointed out that Goldie and Kurt have been together for years and show no signs of ending their relationship; yet they remain un-married. Though I think the real sticking point is that Cameron can’t look at JT without laughing at his statement of "bringing sexy back." (note we here at the Skitoliv World promise to never ever ever attempt to bring sexy back, we never lost it, therefore have no need to bring it back)

*The "Do You Actually Listen to the words that come out of your own mouth" award of the week goes to both Suge Knight and 50 Cent. Suge called Snoop Dogg a narc and whiny puking rat. Fiddy, called Oprah an Oreo, which I understand to mean she acts "black" on the outside and "white" on the inside. I think that that is all that needs to be said about that.

* Michael "I have lots of black friends" Richards; the former Seinfeld star and unfunny stand-up comedian has received support from the one person who understands him, Mel Gibson. Quote, "I feel really badly for the guy. He was obviously in a state of stress. You don’t need to be inebriated to be bent out of shape." Yes Melroy, that is true. You also do not need to be inebriated to spill your true feelings about race to the public. A lot of people saw "The Passion", so they know your opinion Mel.

*The Hollywood feud of the week belongs to Skitoliv World Favorite Nicole "I am almost back to my birth weight" Ritchie and her now former stylist. Apparently this is big news and they are fighting about something and there is lots of goings back and forth about this something, ah the heck with it, who really gives a rats ass?

* I would like to make a comment about Britney Spears (24, pop star and mother of two) stating that Paris Hilton (25, amateur porn star and…what is it that she does again?) is "her role model". This is one of the greatest quotes ever to be uttered in the history of the world. Look Brit, while the Skitoliv World has openly mocked you (a lot), do not use the Skank of The Century (aka Paris) as your role model. You already sold millions of albums, and Paris well apparently she has some sort of album out but damn if you can figure out who bought it.  You did the now so-bad-it is good, and Selena Kangs favorite, movie "Crossroads". Paris did "One Night in Paris" and "House of Wax". You should be her role model and not the other way around. Did you not learn from your involvement with K-Fed? This is going to end badly. Also, the World is now taking wagers on how soon there are rumors about a sex tape involving the power couple (Paris and Britney). We say next week.

*Thursday Night Football

CINCY over Baltimore - for the few people that actually get the NFL network, you will see a battle but I think Cincy’s Offense has hit its stride.

Pam Anderson has filed for divorce from Kid Rock! I would really like to say I am shocked and alawrmed by this development but there we have it.

I have said it before and will say it again. If these two who were sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much in love can not make it work, what chance do any of us have?

I think there needs to be a moratorium on all Hollywood weddings. I mean really, why bother? They should skip the legal wedding proceedings and just have a reception. Thereby eliminating the need for a costly divorce proceeding.

OK! That is it!!!! Enough with the damn coverage of Holmes and Cruise’s so called wedding!!!!! I DO NOT FRIGGIN CARE!!!! They are getting "married" by a scientology "muckity-muck", this is not real. If they were before a "real" religon’s priest or even a good ‘ole JOP I might think it actually occured. This is absurd, no one gives a damn!!! (NOTE: I realize I am not supposed to comment on them, but the Skitoliv World is very upset at being unable to turn on the radio/tv/internet without something about these idiots)

onto the NFL

Last Week - 8-8 Best Pick - Cleveland over Atlanta; Worst Pick Pats ove Jets;

YTD - 87-56 (61%)

BALTIMORE over Atlanta - I think Baltimore is over-rated but Billick is doing a better job with the offense. I think the Falcons need to get rid of Ron Mexico.

HOUSTON over Buffalo - I think Sage Rosenfels is better than David Carr. I think the Bills need a better QB than J.P. Losman.

Chicago over NEW JERSEY JETS - I think Chicago could get caught looking ahead to New England. I think Mangini won caoch of the year last week.

NEW ORLEANS over Cincinnati - I think Drew Brees should get some MVP votes. I think Cincy needs to look to next year.

Indianapolis over DALLAS - I think the Colts are really good right now. I think Tony Romo is not the long term answer at QB.

MIAMI over Minnesotta - I think the Dolphins are going to go on a late run here. I think the Vikings flaws have been exposed.

New England over GREEN BAY - I think Belichek needs to stop out coaching himself. I think I am not scared of Brett Favre in any situation.

KANSAS CITY over Oakland - I think the Chiefs will be better with Trent Green back under center. I think Art Shell should bench Randy Moss after what Moss said last week.

CLEVELAND over Pittsburgh - I think it will be tough for the Browns to win 3 in a row, but I think they may have turned a corner. I think Pittsburgh can not win on the road.

CAROLINA over St. Louis - I think the Panthers are starting to heat up at the right time. I think the Rams are a few players away.

PHILADELPHIA over Tennessee - I think the Eagles need to get of the field quicker on defense. I think the Titans have ugly uniforms.

TAMPA BAY over Washington - I think Chucky will make life miserable on the skins new QB. I think Joe Gibbs defended Brunell too long.

ARIZONA over Detroit - I think the Cardinals flat out suck. I think Detroit is not much better.

Seattle over SAN FRANCISCO - I think the ‘hawks are better now with Alexander back. I think people are saying SF has improved too quickly.

DENVER over San Diego - I think the Broncos ‘D’ will stuff the ‘bolts. I think Marty can not win in Mile High.

JACKSONVILLE over New Jersey Giants - I think the Jags are mad from last week. I think Eli is regressing.

I have to pick up the phone a lot at work. My standard greeting of course being, "Hi. This is Duke. How can I help You?" I am then subjected to the person on the other end of the line breaking into verse "Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl. Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl." The person then invariably says, "I bet you never hear that do you?" My normal response when this happens outside of work is to state in my most sarcastic tone, "No. That is really original. I am surprised I never have."

At work, however, I have to be nice to my customers.

Let me state for the record, I hate that damn song. If you sing it at me, you are not witty or clever or remotely interesting. You will earn my ire and then most likely I will flat out ignore your presence, or hang up the phone on you.

The other thing I have no interest in is whether or not you at some point in your life had a dog named "Duke."

Today is the great American smoke out! Which means if you are that big of a dope and smoke, you should quit.

One of the great things about living in America is that you have the freedom to make the choice to smoke. It is your body and no one should tell you what you can do with it. It is your right to kill yourself by willingly inhale carcinogens.

That said, it is my right as an American to go out and not be subjected to your smoke. I have made the decision not to smoke. I am one of the people who actually does believe the surgeon generals warnings about cigarettes causing cancer. I hate when I come back from a night out and just absolutely reek. Cigarette smoke is quite possibly one of the most offensive things to have to deal with when you are out at a bar. I can deal with the crowds, I can deal with paying too much for a beer and girls, you can deal with drunk guys trying to hit on you. I can not deal with the cloud of smoke that you see in bars.

I am asked why I go out in Delaware as much as I do. Well, there you have it. When I come home I do not smell like an ashtray. I went to a bar/restaurant with a friend last week, it was in PA, so when I got home the first thing I wanted to do was jump in the shower. I hate smelling of smoke. It really makes me wonder how I dealt with this when Delaware was not smoke free.

I applaud all bar and restaurant owners that have decided to make their establishments smoke free. We, the non-smoking world, which increases daily, greatly appreciate it.

So if you smoke, please quit. It will kill you!

Quick Hits:

*The so called wedding of Tom Cruise and Katie Holme occurs this weekend in Italy. Oprah apparently is very upset that she was left off of the guest list. The Beckhams apparently can’t decide between 6 or 7 gifts for the couple. The caterers apparently can not get the hors d ouers correct. Everyone is forgetting that this is just a big attempt by scientology to brain wash a bunch of people. You watch, more people will come out of this saying how great that crock of bs is. Mass hypnosis is going to occur to more of Hollywood’s elite!

*With this so called wedding occurring I am pleading with the government of Italy in conjunction with the United States attack it. Many of the high muckity-mucks (actual name) of scientology will be there to see the union of their champion with his kidnapped/brain-washed pod person. This is the chance, we can get them right now and end this mockery once and for all!

*Weekly money grab by K-Fed - Kevin Federline is hawking just about anything he can get his hands on to make a buck – including scintillating footage of people taking pictures of him from cameras installed in his truck. The most ridiculous thing is some tabloid paid for it. Please, everyone out there, let him go. He is not worth the effort of paying attention to. "In Portuguese that means I am broke and got no money."

Apparently, Britney has decided to give away the first pictures of her newest child, for free. The main reason behind this, is to prevent her clown of a soon to be ex husband from getting any proceeds of a sale. So much for a couple that was "sooooooooo in love."

Last week, 8-5; Worst Pick - Chicago over Miami (CHAD!!!! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?????), Best Pick - SF over Minnesota ( told you I had a feeling about it.)

Year to Date 79-48 (62%)

Baltimore over TENNESSEE - I think Steve McNair is still pissed over how the Flaming Thumbtacks treated him last year. I think Vince Young is going to have a long day.

INDIANAPOLIS over Buffalo - I think it is hard to beat the ponies on their track. I think Buffalo would love to have Brady Quinn or Troy Smith over J.P. Losman.

NEW JERSEY GIANTS over Chicago - I think one of these teams is a fraud, though I am not sure which.

Cleveland over ATLANTA - I think Cleveland is waiting to explode, throw the ball to Sgt. Winslow and Edwards more!!! I think Atlanta’s Defense is really over-rated.

MINNESOTA over Green Bay - I think the Vikings need help at QB, Brad Johnson is just not getting it done. I also think Favre needs to retire, he did throw 2 interceptions against Buffalo that cost them the game.

JACKSONVILLE over Houston - I think there is no difference between Garrard and Leftwich, they both are sub-par NFL QBs. I think David Carr should be cut outright.

KANSAS CITY over Miami - I think K-City needs to decide to stay with the hot Huard or the recovering Green. I think Brady Quinn will become the next Dan Marino next year.

New Orleans over PITTSBURGH - I think Drew Brees is unbelievable. I think Pittsburgh really believe their own press.

NEW ENGLAND over New Jersey Jets - I think Mangini did something really bad to piss off Belichek the way he did. I think Chad Pennington is proving lots of people wrong.

San Diego over CINCINNATI - I think LaDanian Tomlinson is a freak of nature. I think the Bengals are back to being the Bungles.

DETROIT over San Francisco - I think that Jon Kitna is having a nice year. I think the niners need a better quarterback than Alex Smith.

PHILADELPHIA over Washington - I think that the Eagles defense needs to start kicking ass or they are done. I think that Brunell needs to be replaced.

Denver over OAKLAND - I think that Denver is a dangerous team. I think Andrew Walter might get killed by the Broncos.

Dallas over ARIZONA - I think that Romo is not the answer Cowboys fans. I think that Dennis Green is done.

St. Louis over SEATTLE - I think that Tory Holt is the best wideout in the game, and he doesn’t act like an idiot ever. I think that the Seahawks need their big dogs back in a hurry.

CAROLINA over Tampa Bay - I think the Panthers are getting ready for a run to the playoffs. I think I like saying Gradkowski, say it with me G-r-a-d-k-o-w-s-k-i!

I think this divorce is going to give me fodder for weeks. I love stupid people!

Kevin Federline, entered our lives Oct. 2004, left this world November 7, 2006. Kevin "K-Fed" Federline was described by those who knew him as a fun-loving party guy, a guy you would want to have children with. An aspiring actor, rapper and WWE-punching bag, K-Fed has two children with soon to be ex-wife Britney Spears and two other bastard children from a former relationship with some other media whore known as Shar Jackson.

K-Fed first came to the attention of the Skitoliv World when "The World", like most of the real world, was shocked to hear he and Pop-Princess Britney "Hit me Baby one more time" Spears married back in October 2004. Many of us here in a Skitoliv World really, really wanted to know who the wife-beater wearing, corn -rowed quaffed, chain smoking, non-showering man dancer was and where he came from. Then of course we had a reality check and realized we did not care. Of course we heard the stories of how he was with Britney, though his ex, the afore mentioned Shar Jackson already had one child by the dirt-ball and was knocked up with their second child. Yet, a part of us all really thought that maybe these two crazy kids had found each other and were no longer going to be able to hurt anyone else. I mean, Brit is no rocket-scientist either.

Once married to paparazzi darling Spears, it was next to impossible to get away from coverage of Federline. There he was everywhere. The major problem is that people apparently wanted to see him doing idiotic things. K-Fed was always out on the L.A. party scene, usually hitting the sauce pretty hard, even though his "beloved" Britney was home pregnant with their first child. The populace began to sour on Feds, perceiving him to be a gold-digging mooch, one who had no problem spending Brit’s money.

The next thing we hear is that Brittney was going to spend two million dollars to help K-fed become the "hip-hop star I know he was meant to be." (her exact words, I am not making this up!). A Skitoliv World is not opposed to people branching out and trying things. Who knows, Fed maybe had some hidden talent and this would be like a version of Britney Idol, where she discovers the next great rap-star. The problem of course arose when his first single was released, "Popozau". The song starts with a very weird sounding bell/flute medley with K-Fed mumbling in some sort of language, once the beat drops the exact words are (again I swear I am not making this up) "In Portuguese that means shake your @ss!" Well it sort of goes down hill from there. Kevin had no talent.

The critical panning of K-Fed’s music and his complete mockery by the "hip-hop" community did not stop his dream of becoming a rap-star. Kevin’s first album "Playing With Fire" was released on Oct 31, 2006. It sold an anemic 6,000 copies. The bigger question this raises, of course, is what in the hell is wrong with the 6000 people that bought that steaming pile of garbage. Kevin’s tour was also not going too well, several dates had to be canceled due to lack of ticket sales. Hundreds of tickets had to be handed out free, and the people that were there seemed to only want to heckle Kevin.

Kevin’s life officially ended on Tuesday, when his wife filed for divorce. Kevin now starts down that long slide into obscurity. The public interest will remain high for a bit as the divorce proceedings carry on. Some how, K-fed will even put out another album. Then he will be on Dancing with the stars, or as a celebrity judge at the Miss Hawaiian Tropic contest. His every mis-step will recieve less and less attention. Finally, K-Fed will be gone, until he is mentioned for getting busted for DUI or Drug possession.

Good-bye Kevin, the world will not miss you. There are always other idiots in the lime-lite, maybe if you are lucky you will be the answer to a bar trivia question someday, but again, you are not special, you never were. You were and still are, an idiot. Please take a shower, you smell. (For those that are curious, now that they are divorced, Brittney and Kevin are free game for Skitoliv World to point out that they are morons again.)