*Ahem* I want to point out that Vicky Marshall (Anna Nicole Smith) appears to be receiving more coverage in her death then she did in her life. Vicky appears to have died from an overdose of narcotics. During any of her public appearances, she constantly appeared to be way "out of it". I mean even more out of it than her "ditzzy blonde" persona. Now comes the news, that John "I want to have LL Bean Ron Hubbard’s love-child" Travolta claims that scientology could have saved Vicky.

"The super Thetan, who appeared with Smith in "Be Cool," proclaims that if Anna Nicole had gotten help at Narconon, the drug detox program "inspired" by the writings of L. Ron Hubbard and associated with the Church of Scientology, all would be different today. "It’s so sad," said Travolta to MSNBC. "We could have helped her with Narconon but didn’t get a chance."

Look, I think that getting addicts to clean up is a good thing. Yet, at what cost. This program might have been able to help Vicky, but she would have sacrificed so much more; her mind (wait, that was already missing), her body (nope too surgically altered to matter), and her very soul (it could get stuck to a brainwashed alien).

The deranged ramblings of LL Bean Ron are not the answer to everything. John, the fact that you think being brainwashed worked for you, it is not the right thing for all people. You should extend a helping hand to those in need, yet do not be surprised when they do not want to take that hand because they think you are crazier than they are. Your beliefs make you look like a damn fool. I am not surprised a drug-addled airhead like Vicky thought that the drugs were preferable to scientology. Even people on LSD think that scientology is too far out there, and this is coming from people that see the walls melting.

All scientologists, please, please, please, just stop talking!

Here we go. Hollywood’s biggest night hits us like a mac truck on Sunday. The Skitoliv World will watch not a single minute of this self-aggrandizement party; however, I feel it is my duty to tell you who is nominated, and who should win this great event.

(Author’s Note: The Skitoliv World has not seen any of the movies nominated this year, so he is basing his description on what he saw in the previews.)

Best motion picture of the year

Babel - I know people who have actually seen this movie and can not tell me what it is about. In the preview, we see Brad Pitt yelling "My wife has been shot!" Then there is a lot of him running around in a very dry and dusty setting, then there is an inexplicable shot of what looks like a wedding. What the hell is going here?!? In my opinion, the general populace should be able to get the general gist of a film even if they have not seen it. There is nothing in the preview that makes me think, "Damn! That looks like the best movie of the year! I need to go see that!"

The Departed - Great, great trailer for this movie. Right off the bat, you know what is going on here, Jack Nicholson states "I got a rat in my crew." Ok, we know it is a cop drama, where the good guys (cops) are trying to bring down Nicholson’s mob boss. Scorsese helms this project, meaning that there is tons of violence and lots of moral ambiguity. There are tons of people in this movie, yet this movie can not win Best Picture as Leo DiCaprio is in it. DiCaprio must be made to suffer as he was in the abysmally bad "Titanic" which somehow won Best Picture, therefore everyone associated with that picture can never ever be part of a movie to win Best Picture.

Letters From Iwo Jima - The Commander and Big Jude saw this film and thought it was fantastic. Director Clint Eastwood, crafts an epic-film about the Battle of Iwo Jima from the Japanese defenders view point. I find this to be an interesting concept as most war-films come from the American point of view, showing the Japanese as the "bad guys." Now, we get to see what the war was like from the "bad guys" point of view.

Little Miss Sunshine - Yet another film that follows the blue-print of a trailer that tells you nothing about the film. This film deals with your stereo-typical dysfunctional family on a road-trip to go to a pageant of some sort. This film became the darling of the critics who like to make bold statements about what is and what is not a good movie. The Actress saw the film and did not get what all the hype was about. The main thing that appears to happen is that the dysfunctional family drives around in a van AND THE HILARITY ENSUES!!!! LOOK AT HOW DYSFUNCTIONAL THEY ARE, LAUGH AT THEIR PAIN!!!! Stupid premise, haven’t we seen this before?

The Queen - This movie deals with Queen Elizabeth following the death of the much loved (not by Liz) Princess Diana. The hype surrounding this film deals mostly with Helen Mirren’s portrayal of the British monarch. The Skitoliv World again would like to state how little interest it has in the British Royal family.

The Guardian - The drama of the year in the mind of The Skitoliv World. You are completely sucked into this film, you really feel for the characters on every level. The movie truly speaks to you and  to everyone on all levels regardless of gender, race, or religious beliefs. The Coast Guard needs to have regular showings of this film as a recruiting tool.

Projected Winner: The Guardian, when Ashton Kutcher goes up to accept on behalf of the cast and crew, Justin Timberlake jumps out and says "You got punked Dude!!!"

Real Projection: Letters From Iwo Jima

Performance by an actor in a leading role

Leonardo DiCaprio - BLOOD DIAMOND - This movie got a big WTF from The Skitoliv World upon seeing the trailer. When is Hollywood going to learn that DiCaprio can not play a "bad-ass"? He constantly looks like a 12-year old.Do the casting agents sit around and say, "You know who would be perfect to play a south-african mercenary? DiCaprio! He is the baddest of the bad, the coolest of the cool". Also I am not sure which accent is worse, his Rhodesian one here or his South Boston one in The Departed.

Ryan Gosling - HALF NELSON - Gosling plays a drug-addled teacher trying to inspire a young inner-city girl not to run drugs for the local drug dealer. Sounds like a real hoot! Did this movie ever come out in the theaters? Can it be the best performance if no one has seen the movie?

Peter O’Toole - VENUS - Peter O’Toole plays some old actor in England that falls in love with his friend’s very young niece. Sounds super to me. How many movies do we need to see where an old guy gets re-invigorated by a young attractive woman? There is really nothing original in this film. I re-iterate, if no one saw this movie how can they be sure his performance is the best. With Gosling in Half-Nelson included, do the critics just pick absurdly random films that approximately 12 people have seen? Then do they say, "People will think we are so deep. We actually get this film. We can sound very condescending to the masses because they can not appreciate the enormity of this performance, but we can!"

Will Smith - THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS - When the Duck and I saw this trailer, I looked at her and said "So, this is Will Smith begging for an Oscar." Based on a true story, man down on his luck seeks a better life, blah-blah-blah. Again, we have seen this sooooooo many times before. I liked the concept much better when it was called "Down and Out in Beverly Hills."

Forest Whitaker - THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND - Forest Whitaker portrays Ugandan dictator Idi Amin. What got me about this preview is that it shows the duality of Amin through the eyes of his doctor. This looks like an interesting film about a charismatic/murderous figure. However, the Academy needs to penalize Whitaker for directing "First Daughter" starring Katie Holmes, who actually believes that she has brainwashed souls attached to her body. (Yes dear readers, there is a dig on scientology, I know you were waiting for it.)

Kevin Costner - THE GUARDIAN - Costner’s portrayal of a seasoned Coast Guard rescue diver transcends the screen. Watching him, you actually get the feeling of what it is like to jump out of helicopters and save fisherman up in Alaska. His flat Midwestern twang adds what is needed for those impact lines such as "I swim as fast as I can, as hard as I can, and the sea takes the rest." 

Projected Winner - Kevin Costner - The Guardian -Costner makes his way to the stage where he is promptly attacked by the outraged audience, most of whom have never forgiven him for making the Postman.

Real Projected Winner - Forest Whitaker - The Last King of Scotland

Performance by an actress in a leading role

Penélope Cruz - VOLVER - The Skitoliv World was completely blown away by the trailer for this film. Not only do you have no idea what it is about, the actors are speaking Spanish, so unless you are fluent, you have no idea what they are talking about. The only thing I can figure is that Penelope kills somebody, as that is the only thing she says throughout the entire trailer. This is true Oscar material.

Judi Dench - NOTES ON A SCANDAL - There must be a rule somewhere that states Judi Dench must be nominated for an Oscar every single year. Look, she is a talented actress, but are we to believe she turns in one of the best performances of the year every single year? Here she plays some frumpy teacher that catches her younger, hotter teacher colleague in an affair with a student. Whoop-dee-do. Yeah, that sounds like a performance worthy of an Oscar.

Helen Mirren - THE QUEEN - Mirren portrays Queen Elizabeth during the time after Princess Diana’s death. I imagine it was very difficult to deal with the death of such a popular figure. Yet, again, The Skitoliv World likes to point out that America fought a war in order to not deal with the British Royals, so I could care less what the Queen went through.

Meryl Streep - THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA - I believe Meryl Streep has been nominated for an academy award every single year for the past 200 years. Eventually the five nominees are going to be Meryl Streep, Judi Dench, Meryl Streep, Judi Dench and Meryl Streep. Here she plays an over-the-top fashion magazine editor who may or may not be the devil. I could not even watch the preview for this film as I AM A GUY!!!

Kate Winslet - LITTLE CHILDREN - Well, here it is. The movie to end all movies. Winslet portrays a suburban mother who starts an affair with the father of her daughter’s friend. Lots of angst in this film, as Kate says "I don’t want to live with unhappiness." So we have bored suburbanites hiding an affair from their spouses. I think this was better when it was called Fatal Attraction and worse when it was called What Lies Beneath.

Ashton Kutcher - THE GUARDIAN - Ashton made a bold move and cut of his trademark flowing locks for this role as novice Coast Guard diver. She is of course the hot-head of the group, constantly clashing with fellow Oscar contender Kevin Costner, but she does it due to the haunted past she is trying to recover from. This is Kutcher’s Lawrence of Arabia.

Projected Winner - Ashton Kutcher - The Guardian - The audience is later surprised when Kutcher is stripped of this award due to his not being a woman. I know, I am as shocked as you are.

Real Winner - Hellen Mirren - The Queen - Everyone says she is great, so she must be.

…just freakin’ wow!

The only rationale behind this bizarre behavior; Brit was jealous of all the publicity that Vicky Marshal (Anna Nicole) was recieving due to her death.

The former Mrs. Federline now jumps to the top of the Train Wrecks list.

No dear readers, I am not referring to The Skitoliv World. I am referring to the world in general. Those of us that have a long commute to work in the morning constantly marvel at the level of stupidity exhibited by many drivers. You will see people swerving at high speed, in and out of traffic; getting right up on your bumper and hitting their steering wheel because you will not get out of their way. What possesses people to drive like a complete an utter A@@? Why do they think they can just drive like this and completely piss of all the people around them? I have the answer. The reason people drive like an A@@ during the morning; "the snooze bar".

The "snooze bar" is a small device on your alarm clock. It allows you to get a few more minutes of sleep after your alarm initially goes off. Once it goes off again, you press it for a few more minutes, and this process continues. How does this lead to people driving like an A@@? Simply stated, it makes you late in the morning, therefore you are rushing to get to work on time. For example, The Skitoliv World’s alarm clock, during the week, goes off at 5:58AM. This allows the Skitoliv World plenty of time to do morning things, shower, get dressed, eat a bagel, etc, and leave promptly at 625 to drive over to Gunning Drive and pick up the Commander for work. However, if the Skitoliv World was to press "the snooze bar", he would not get out of bed until 6:08 and not leave till 635. The delicate time balance is now offset and The Skitoliv World would need to speed and act like an A@@ to other drivers in order to make up time lost to "the snooze bar."

The Skitoliv World witnesses people fighting time lost to "the snooze bar" every day. This is more of a problem then people realize. It may become necessary for a congressional investigating committee to examine the traffic problems caused by people driving like an A@@ due to hitting their snooze bar. The Skitoliv World remains surprised that there has not been an after-school special about hitting "the snooze bar". You would see an All-American Boy, "Billy", who one day decided to hit "the snooze bar" and had to drive like an A@@ in order to make it to school in time. Yet, due to his laziness, on the way to school, he mis-timed a weave and killed four motorists, an elderly crossing guard and a truck full of puppies. We would see "Billy" wailing about how he never should have pressed the snooze bar. I think Freddie Prinze, Jr. is available and would excel at such a role.

A few random Thoughts from a Skitoliv World

*The hooplah surrounding Vicky Marshall’s (Anna Nicole) death continues to amaze. People are acting like she was some sort of super do-gooder, and not a drug-addled, plastic train wreck. Let it go, she is dead.

* The Super Bowl was a terrible game. Not entertaining in the slightest. I am glad that Payton can finally silence his critics, but he could have shoed a little more emotion. The guy is presented with the Lombardi Trophy and he looked at it like it was a Big Mouth Billy Bass.

*"Rappers 50 Cent and Irv Gotti got into an old-fashioned staredown in L.A. over the weekend at a Grammy viewing party, but Gotti blinked first, and left the Universal Music party quickly." Oh for god’s sake make it stop.

* Under the title of "somebody thought this was a good idea" Disney has been hyping the hell, including a super bowl spot, out of their latest sure-fire-money-making-smash-hit-oscar-contender, "Wild Hogs". A Buddy-road-trip-comedy, starring John "Praise be to LL.Bean Ron Hubbard" Travolta, Tim "Get ready for Santa Clause 4" Allen, Martin "You still think I am marketable and funny" Lawrence, and (wait for it) William H. "I never met a script i did not like, cause I love to work" Macy. Someone at Disney heard the pitch for this movie and actually ok’d it. Of course I am sure they thought they would not have to face-off agains t "Codename: The Cleaner" and "Alpha Dog" but…wait you mean those movies already bombed?

R.I.P. Anna Nicole Smith

you did something in reality

though we are not sure if you yourself existed in reality

for some reason people though it necessary not to help you but rather leech off you

R.I.P. You tremedous train wreck

The Skitoliv World finally went skiing last weekend. Due to prior commitments (being a responsible graduate student) and the global warming experienced by the Poconos (thanks Al Gore), The Skitoliv World was unable to go skiing during 2006. Yet, the weather finally changed and the mountains were covered with man-made snow, so The Duck agreed to go skiing.

First, during the weeks leading up to this excursion, The Duck was convinced that she was going to kill herself. This was based on prior skiing experiences during her youth, "Last time, I came home with my foot in a box!" Yet, The Duck expressed an incredible amount of trust in The Skitoliv World, when he stated that he could teach her with out any real problems. The Skitoliv World having worked as a ski instructor several years ago. Joining The Duck and The Skitoliv World up at "Cahill Harbor" was the inimitable Madness (sans Kangrilla). Madness planned on joining several of his friends over at Shawnee, but The Duck and The Skitoliv World decided to head over to Jack Frost, where The Duck could learn.

Early on Saturday, Madness and The Duck watched The Skitoliv World sharpen and wax his skis. They were highly amused by this simple task, mostly remarking "he just thinks he looks like he is cool, he is not really doing anything." Madness left for Shawnee, The Duck and The Skitoliv World headed down 940 to Jack Frost. First stop, Timberline Ski Shop where The Duck picked up some rental equipment. Rental guy, "Does she need poles?", The Duck, "Of course I need poles, I need something to hit him (the Skitoliv World) with."

Once at Jack Frost, gearing up went incredibly fast and we headed out to conquer the mountain. The Duck was an incredibly fast learner, moving from snow-plow to almost parallel after her third run. This may have had something to do with the exceptional teaching provided to her by The Skitoliv World (arm hurts from patting self on back). After the third time down a green circle, The Duck pronounced herself ready for a blue square, The Skitoliv World, who never takes anyone on a trail they can not handle, agreed. The Skitoliv World quoted an old mantra from The Commander, "Use the whole hill, you paid for it." The Duck took this to heart and proceeded to conquer Easy Rider and Ridge Run by making large turns and taking her time.

The Skitoliv World said The Duck was now ready for Lehigh. The Duck was visibly nervous on the tougher Blue Square, and proceeded to take her first spill of the day on the upper headwall. It was a nice fall with her ski popping off and poles flying everywhere. Yet, she was not deterred and popped right back up and continued along her way.

We took a break due to her toes finally losing all circulation. The E-2000 lounge at Frost was pretty empty and we were able to have a quick beer. When the circulation finally restarted in her toes, The Duck was borderline in tears, that is how bad it hurt her. The Skitoliv World went and purchased some toe warmers for The Duck so that this would not repeat itself.

We headed back out. I then took The Duck on Exhibition, the hardest of Jack Frost’s Blue Squares. The Duck took a small fall on the headwall, followed by a tremendous wipe out on the lower part of the trail, snow up the back and everything. Yet, not to be deterred, she insisted that we ski Exhibition over and over again, until she made it down with out falling. Sadly, the Duck failed in this endeavor. With the crowds thickening on the mountain, we decided to call it a day.

The Duck really seemed to enjoy herself, once we got her toes taken care of. She is already jonesing to go again.

According to The Sun, Scientology leader David Miscavige thinks that Tom Cruise and Jesus share a lot of similarities. The Sun quotes a Scientology source as saying:

"Tom has been told he is Scientology’s Christ-like figure. Like Christ, he’s been criticised for his views. But future generations will realise he was right.”

I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry. The Skitoliv World must appologize again and again from the bottom of its heart. The Skitoliv World has to do it, it has to go back on its promise to never ever ever ever talk about Tom Cruise again. I had tried to just ignore the fact that he and I share the same earth, but then some idiot scientologist (redundant, I know) has to go and say the above quote.

I think this is the final straw. There is a lot I can take from scientology. The aliens, the brainwashing, the e-meter but this is it. I can not take a the comparrison of Tom Cruise to Jesus Christ. I am calling for all out war against scientology. This is beyond any war, this is a true Jihad, the holy war of all holy wars. Muslims, you need to join this fight because if they will compare Cruise to JC, how long before they start comparing him to Muhammad. Buddists, do you want to hear how Tom Cruise will lead you on the path of enlightenment instead of Buddah? Shintoists, it is not your ancestors you need to pray to, it is Tom Cruise.

Many of my readers think that my rants about scientology are amusing, but this is serious. We can not allow this to continue. All idiot scientologists must be outright shunned. Hollywood, stop giving them work until they renounce this garbage.

You idiot scientologists, I will sum this up as best I can. YOU HAVE BEEN CONNED!!! L.Ron Hubbard was and is nothing more than a failed sci-fi writer, and an obvious lunatic. Tom Cruise is not the messiah. This whole experiment has been desigined to swindle you out of your money. I am sorry you were gullible enough to believe this crap.

That is it. I am done.

Just when you thought it was safe to read your email again, here comes the notification that "Thoughts in a Skitoliv World" has been updated. Yes dear readers, we thought that the favorite target of The Skitoliv World would actually behave and not give fodder for its rants. Alas, celebrities keep doing ridiculous things, such as speaking.

* The major rumor surrounding David and "Posh Spice" Beckham coming to Los Angeles is that their BFF’s Tom and Katie Cruise/Holmes are going to convert them to scientology. I guess that David and Posh are some sort of big deal outside of the United States, yet here they are just a washed up soccer player and his former pop singer turned anorexic wife. Most Americans would be very hard pressed to tell you what sport Beckham plays and when they show Victoria most people would say "I think she used to be someone", much like the Cruises. Yet, I must tell these people, do not become more of a joke than you already are. Just say ‘NO’ to scientology.

* Along those same lines. "Posh" Beckham is set to take-on her first acting role since the regrettable "Spice World". Vicky will have a small role in "The Thetan", a sci-fi picture that Tom Cruise’s Production company has in the works. For those of you that do not know, a "thetan" is what the "e-meter" measures. The "e-meter" is the electric shock device that scientologists grab to rid themselves of "thetans", which are the brain-washed souls of dead aliens blown up by the evil alien overlord Xenu, and then got stuck to good people. Yes, it has finally happened, I am at a loss for words. Ok it passed. AYFKM (Are You F****** Kidding Me!!!), this is the great work that Dan Snyder is now funding? Summer Redstone, you are a true visionary in foreseeing that Cruise was going to start making scientology propaganda pieces. Any Actor or Actress that appears in this movie must never ever be allowed to work in film.

* The Skitoliv World is now calling for a boycott of Nationwide Insurance. This company decide to use Kevin "I used to be famous" Federline in its Superbowl ad. Stop it! Let him fade into oblivion. The man has contributed nothing to society and needs to go away entirely. You are letting him hold on too long!

* The Hollywood award season recently began with the Golden Globes. I hate the award season. It is exactly what Hollywood and celebrities need, more self-aggrandizement. The problem with awarding a "Best Movie/Actor/Actress" is that whoever decides who gets nominated needs their head examined. In my opinion, they just choose people from the most obscure movies that approx. twelve people have seen, and try to pass them off as great art. Any "blockbuster" gets automatically eliminated because it does not have that "depth" that the academy needs to recognize. Which is a shame because if you ask most people what is the best movie they "saw" in 2006 they will tell you it was "Superman" or "Pirates of the Caribbean" or something that people actually go and see.

* One of the most ridiculous phenomenons to sweep the nation resumes this evening; American Idol. Here is the thing. Many of the finalists can really sing. I am not sure why some of the people won due to their weird mannerisms, see Hicks, Taylor (the man looks like he is having a seizure, is really ugly, and does not have that great of a voice). However, this is another show that delights in showing embarrassment humor. Now several of the contestants are deluded enough to think that their voice is great even though they obviously suck, but most of the people are going there for the specific reason of being insulted by the panel of judges. This show should have died years ago. I dislike its continued existence.

* Rest in Peace Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz’s relationship. At least they followed the advice found in Thoughts in a Skitoliv World, and did not get married first. According to sources, Cameron was all over Justin at a post-golden globes party and then started screaming at Jessica Biel because she thought JT was flirting with her. Cameron, babe, according to many magazines and pundits you are a very attractive woman (the Skitolv World does not see it). Why are you that hung up on a former man-bander, who claims to bring "sexy back"? You should be able to find someone that never lost sexy, therefore has no need to bring it back.

The NFL playoffs got started this past weekend. Saturdays action was incredibly un-inspired, with the exception of All-American boy and Cowboys QB Tony "I am dating Carrie Underwood" Romo’s spectacular fumble during the game winning field goal attempt.

Sunday, the offical teams of The Skitoliv World, The Philadelphia Eagles and The New England Patriots played host to Wild Card games. The Red Warrior, avid (rabid) Pats fan and The Duck, psycho-Eagles fan, were at 1801 for the days festivities. First up, The Patriots hosted the New Jersey Jets. As a point of information, the three of us were drinking Stella Artois and Grolsch throughout the whole day, boh are among my favorite beers in the world. Anyway, Red and I were kind of non-plussed the entire game. Yes we cheered when the Pats took the lead and yelled at the refs when they made bogus calls against the Pats, but it was as if we were not concerned with this game at all. At one point the Jets cut the lead to 23-17 and I asked the Warrior if he was concerned, and he kinda shook his head saying "not in the slightest". True to form the Pats scored a TD on their drive and then the defense provided the exclamation point with another TD. So off to San Diego for the Pats. I assure you there will be much more yelling and griping this week.

The Eagles took the field around 415, to face off against the hated New York Giants. At this point, we had fully switched to Grolsch, and were, well to put it mildly, out whistles were well wet. The red Warrior has no real interest in this game, but he wanted the birds to win for our sake. In true Eagels fan I automatically assume that they are going to screw up, yet some how they managed to succeed and move on to face the United States Saints down in New Orleans. This is going to be tough for the brids as everyone appears to think that because the Saints are playing in the Superdome, everything is hunky-dory in New Orleans. You can imagine that every commentator will be pulling for the "feel-good" story that is the Saints. I will let The L.T make all the comments he needs to about that.

Anyway. This weeks games.

Colts 24-21 over the Ravens

Pats 28-20 over the Chargers

Bears 17-3 over the Seahawks

Eagles 31-28 over the Saints

There is a huge problem in Hollywood. No, I am not talking about the continuing train wreck that is Brittney Spears or even Paris Hilton getting hit in the head by a piece of ice. The problem remains that too many bad bad bad bad movies continue to get made. My current head scratching about these bad movies stems from two trailers I have seen recently; "The Cleaner" and "Alpha Dog".

The main trend right now in Hollywood is to make a bad movie and then bludgeon the populace to death with ads for this bad movie. I have currently see the trailer for both "The Cleaner" and "Alpha Dog" approximately 100,000 times a piece. "The Cleaner"’s main character appears to be Cedric the Entertainer and apparently he is a janitor who actually works for the CIA or something, oh the hilarity that ensues. "Alpha Dog" boats a cast of Sharon Stone, Bruce Willis and Justin Timberlake, and apparently deals with a kidnapping of some kid that a bunch of other kids decide to kill, lots of tension there. I have seen nothing in these trailers that makes these movies seem even remotely interesting. The problem remains, that somebody at a movie studio somewhere thought these films are good ideas; not only are they good ideas, but they are great ideas that are going to make the studio a lot of money, i.e. enough to recoup production costs and make a profit.

Maybe it is me and I just do not get it. Yet I would think that after hearing the pitch for "The Cleaner" a movie executive would throw the pitchman out of their office. The best they can come up with is a janitor that thinks he is in the CIA? Oh wait, here is the tag line for it; "I’m the black Rambo!" ,"Ok, Blambo." How long did that take to think up? Not only did they decide to make this film, butt hen they needed to cast it. I can just see the meeting to make these decisions.

Movie Honcho 1: "Ok we need a funny African-American to play ‘the cleaner’ but Bernie Mac is out because he is filming ‘Ocean’s 87′. Bill Cosby is too old and I do not think that Steve Harvey has the acting chops to really get behind the character."

Honcho 2: "I’ve got it! Cedric the Entertainer."

Honcho 1:"Oh that is brilliant, he will really bring people to see the film, just like he did for ‘Johnson Family Vacation’. Now we need a white actress to play the sex interest, hey who is hot these days?"

Honcho 2: "Well, my wife loves that ‘Desperate Housewives’ show, so how about the blonde from that, it would get the women to come see it."

Honcho 1: "You are on fire today! All we need now is another woman to play his love interest at the janitorial service and we can fill in the rest with no names."

Honcho 2: "I know Lucy Liu is desperate for work, so she should come cheap."

Viola! That is how they cast this nonsense. I am not sure which is worse, that they decided this was a good idea, or that people are going to go and pay money to see it. I am not talking about value matinee either, they will pay full price to see this garbage.