Thoughts in a Skitoliv World

I hate clowns. I am not afraid of them, I just hate them. You, my dear readers, know of my dislike for scientology, France, the New York Yankees and Paris Hilton; yet this pales in comparison to how much I hate clowns.

Reason Number One that Clowns Suck: They never leave you alone. Amazing as it may seem, The Skitoliv World does not like to be annoyed (shock from all readers), clowns do not make you laugh, they just annoy you. There you are at some event, be it a birthday party, circus, country fair or political convention and somebody has to ruin said event by hiring a clown. The clown will find the one person that wants absolutely nothing to do with this clown and proceed to harass and annoy the person until they snap. I think when a clown goes to "clown college" they install a radar to find people that want nothing to do with the clown. Here comes the clown up to you "oh smell my flower", and you reply "Go away clown", "come on, smell my flower!", "If I do that, it will squirt me with water." "No, it won’t just smell the flower", "If you do not get the heck away from me right now, I will stab you with my toothpick!", "It is just a flower" and this will go on and on and on, until the person stabs the clown with the toothpick. I do not see the humor that people find in seeing someone so annoyed by a clown that they they try to stab it to death with a toothpick.

Reason Number Two that Clowns Suck: The people that become clowns have deep rooted problems. Who wakes up in the morning and decides that they want to be a clown? What is wrong with you that you want to be a clown? Clowns scare children and are loathed by adults. Therefore, deciding to become a clown means that you want to be hated by everyone. Outside of the french, no one likes clowns. You want to be hated, become a clown.

Reason Number Three that Clowns Suck: They hide behind their makeup. What are you hiding underneath all that paint? Why must you hide yourself to the world? Also, did you purposely make your self up to look like John Wayne Gacy? I dislike people that will not show their face. It smells of cowardice. You know who wears masks? Terrorists, wear masks. They are such believers in their cause, that they are afraid to show their faces. Ridiculous.

Anyway, there it is. So my advice to you dear readers, don’t be a clown, or a scientologist.

Yes, it is true, I turned 30 on Saturday. Somehow I made it to 30. My thanks to all of you who sent me b-day wishes.

The Duck, Madness, Kangrilla and I spent saturday down in Bethany Beach. We really did not do too much, had dinner at Dogfish Head Brewery, which was really good. Then we went to the Bottle and Cork and saw two different bands. On the whole it was a really really good day.

http://apnews.excite.com/article/20070514/D8P4BLKG0.html

Thanks to The Duck for pointing this story out.

John Sweeney hero of the fight against scientology. "Sweeney said his outburst came while he was touring a Scientology exhibition in Los Angeles, "Psychiatry: Industry of Death." The exhibit included a mock-up of a Nazi torture chamber, he said, adding that he lost it in the "Mind Control" section of the exhibition."

John, I hope you do not lose your job. I expect better of the BBC, than to bow to the wishes of a fanatical cult. Scientologists a free to practice their mumbo-jumbo (actual name of scientology doctrine, I am not making this up), John you are free to flip out on them and ask Travolta if he belongs to a cult. People are free to criticize you followers of LL Bean Ron Hubbard, I am surprised you are not used to it by now.

…who the hell is going to go see this movie?

The dramatic-biography of Puerto Rican salsa pioneer Hector Lavoe. The film follows Lavoe’s (Anthony) passionate relationship with Puchi (Lopez) and his skyrocket to international fame. But even when he has it all, Lavoe is unable to escape the allure of drugs and his personal pain.

This is so awesome….The Skitoliv World labels El CANANAnanATANTTAe its favorite for next years Best Picture Oscar.

Paris Hilton is reportedly going to jail for 45 days. This is the major story of the world right now. Apparently there is a petition on the Governor of California (Conan the Barbarian/Terminator) Arnold’s desk, to pardon Paris. I am sorry, aren’t pardons generally reserved for people that could actually be innocent? Paris got busted for DUI, had her license suspended but proceed to be constantly photographed driving. So it comes as  big shock, to her, that she got pulled over for driving with a suspended license. Of course Paris countered that cops pull her over all the time to flirt with her. This is so ridiculous. I actually do not expect Paris to spend any time at all in jail. More importantly, I do not care if she does.

Jennifer Lopez is receiving death threats from PETA members. I hate PETA. They have forgotten that Humans have evolved to be the dominate species on the planet. If cows, animals killed for their fur, and other animals really wanted to be saved, they would evolve. Look, it is PETA’s right to protest people wearing fur, but it is those individuals right to wear fur.

The Duck and I saw Spiderman 3 last weekend. I was not very good. They spent too much time whining about their relationships with each other and not enough time with over-the-top action sequences. They finally fell into the "Batman" trap of having no story and too many villains. I hope they can get the series back on track, make it simple, bad guy wants to fight Spiderman, so they do, bad guy kidnaps Mary Jane, and Spider man has to save her. There we go.