Thoughts in a Skitoliv World

Christmas has come and gone. The Skitoliv World hopes that you and yours had a happy and healthy holiday, filled with tons of joy and cheer. The New Year now hits us like a brick, especially if you have a hangover that morning, and the Skitoliv World decided it would look back at the year that just happened to it (being the Skitoliv World).

January: The Skitoliv World opened the New Year by rockin’ the casbah at Ned Devine’s in Herndon, VA. The Red Warrior, Madness, Kangril-la, Samwise and the future Duck all were there to see Chorduroy. The Red Warrior proved the big winner of the evening by locking lips with no fewer than three young ladies. The Skitoliv World continued with its MBA studies at the U taking a Winter Session class. Money, WNBA, A.K. and the Mad Transylvania all were in the class and now a year later I can not tell you what it was about. The Skitoliv World family lost their beloved Uncle Tom Mooney, the humble parish priest. I am sure he is now chasing golf balls down in heaven.

February: February saw the beginning of the best thing to ever happen; that, of course, being the first column in "Thoughts in a Skitoliv World." The Skitoliv World wants to thank Princess Johnny "The Swan" Weir for drawing our ire so badly, that the only way to get rid of it is through taking shots at you in an online blog. Once more just for fun, figure skating is the most ridiculous thing ever, and there is nothing anyone can say to convince me otherwise.

Spring session began at the ‘U’ causing the Skitoliv World to lose many many hours of sleep and to wail at the uselessness of some classes.

March: The Skitoliv World almost died for the first time. The breaks on the Wraith failed, nearly causing the Skitoliv World to die in New Jersey. Fortunately, The Skitoliv World was able to get to the shoulder and coast to a stop. This was the beginning of the odyssey of the Wraith’s breaks.

March saw the wedding of the Skitoliv World’s youngest sister, Dizzy-Lizzer to A-Pells. Quite the time was had by all.

St. Patrick’s day found the Skitoliv World carrying Madness from the metro stop back to his condo. This was not so bad except for Madness being covered in his own stuff, he had a bad trip on the Metro.

April: April found the Skitoliv World slogging through the last few months of graduate school. There was still time to attend the nuptials of Kali and Andy. I have never seen as much rain as that day. The main problem being that the soon-to-be duck and I drove from Wilmington up to WNBA and BFG’s in Manayunk and then over to Balacynwyd or where ever in north Philadelphia the wedding happened. Fun times were had by all and I hope they liked the salad spinner.

May: The Skitoliv World celebrated a birthday during May. Red Warrior, WNBA and BFG accompanied the Skitoliv World to the Red Sox v Phillies at Citizens Bank Park. The Skitoliv World and the Red Warrior drew the ire of the fans by cheering for the Red Sox. They of course knew that their cheering would do this but they did not care.

The Skitoliv World graduated with his MBA. Towards the end, all the projects seemed to run together and even WNBA finally said "It is good enough, bottom line is we are all graduating."

WNBA found out she was pregnant. Still one of the funniest things of the year. "Hey you remember when I was sick last week and you told me I was pregnant? Well, I am!" The Mad Transylvania promptly named the unborn baby Preston.

The not-as-yet Duck came up to the Poconos for the first time.

June: The Skitoliv World launched its all out attack against scientology. The ridiculousness of this religion that LL Bean Ron Hubbard invented on a bet by writing down some ramblings on the back of a cocktail napkin continues to provide fodder for the column. I hope it never goes away. My newest theory is that LL Bean Ron actually did invent a great religion, but his holy text got switched with a bad sci-fi manuscript he had written and well the rest is history.

The US Soccer team failed at the World Cup, again. I know this was a shock to everyone.

July: The Skitoliv World spent five days up in the Poconos over the fourth of July. Too much hilarity ensued over that weekend. "Finally! An ice cream stand that understands my needs." "Why, yes. I am tired of hot dogs."

Matt and Stacy got married. I hope they like the gravy boat. Matt is friends with the starting OT for the Cowboys, a guy named Marc Columbo. Columbo is at least 6′5" and over 300 pounds. "One more beer and I am gonna go wrassle Columbo."- Chief. Ordinarily I encourage Chief to do stupid things when he is drunk, but even I could not let him do that.

August: The Skitoliv World once again proved it has control over the elements during DSF; eight performances and no rain. The Skitoliv World and Red Warrior stretched their beer pong streak to 2 years without a loss at DSF events.

We lost Feltz this month. A larger than life character and a good Uncle. The man once lifted a piano onto a truck by himself.

Paramount fired Tom Cruise. One of the crucial battles in the war against scientology was won by the good guys (non-scientologists).

The Skitoliv World’s older sister Em-ber married the L.T. This was so much fun with the exception of certain events that we will not go into detail about. The Skitoliv World continues to be amazed at the pettiness of some people.

September: The Skitoliv World announced that it would no longer comment on several people that dominate the headlines in the world.

The Skitoliv World also decided that scientology is a terrorist organization and should be on the no-fly list.

The real world lost Steve Irwin. "Crickey!!!" The President of PETA then stated that Steve "..got what he deserved." The Skitoliv World also believes PETA is a terrorist organization and should be disarmed.

The Duck finally was labeled "The Duck".

The L.T. and The Skitoliv World attended Chief’s bachelor party up in Boston….We think we are still hungover.

Chief and Kelly got married up at Cape Cod. The Skitoliv World and the L.T. ran into the ocean at 1 A.M. The Skitoliv World maintains this is one of the best ideas he has ever had.

October: The Skitoliv World resumed its efforts to point out all of the ridiculous things that "celebrities" do but are accepted by society.

The Skitoliv World finally got all of its stuff unpacked at the new place. Got the place all painted up and looking nice as well.

Alec Baldwin made an ass out of himself at…well does it really matter where? He seems to do that a lot.

The Duck and The Skitoliv World attended the Halloween Loop in Wilmington. They also realized that there is no longer a reason to go on this thing. Too many tourists out and about in their city!

November: The Skitoliv World announced that it would be running for Senate in 2026. The main obstacle that it hopes is resolved by then, is the lack of a viable third party. The Skitoliv World remains a registered GDI (God Damn Independent).

Apparently the Democrats are now in charge of Congress. Does it really matter? I guess it is now their fault that nothing gets done.

The Skitoliv World wrote a heat-felt, tear-jerking obituary for Kevin Federline. What? You mean he is not dead?

Tom "I am not a hetero-sexual but I play one in my own reality" Cruise married Katie "Please save me from these crazy people" Holmes. I hope they like the salad spinner I sent them.

The Skitoliv World also made the statement that celebrities should not be allowed to get married as it only ends in divorce and very ugly divorces at that.

The Skitoliv World ate not one but two complete Thanksgiving dinners this year. First one at Gunning Drive followed by another at Richards Drive home of The Duck’s Family. The World felt like it ate the world that day.

December: December has been a relatively quiet month in the Skitolv World. The Duck and The Skitoliv World have spent much time together including a fun weekend in Washington. Christmas was a great event.

The Skitoliv World was rocked by the passing of its Crazy Aunt Peg…she will never be forgotten.

Well dear readers, have a safe New Year’s celebration. The Skitoliv World will return next year will all the things it thinks you should know.

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 28th, 2006 at 11:13 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.