Here we go again…
Welcome back my friends to the column that never ends! The Skitoliv World hopes everyone had a happy and healthy Thanksgiving. Now that that silly holiday is out of the way, it is time for the crazy buying run up to Christmas. I am sure everyone went out at 3AM to the mall in order to get their "Black Friday" deals! Though if you were like the Skitoliv World, you were sound asleep, drunk on trictophans from the massive amounts of turkey you consumed. This year I had not one but two Thanksgiving dinners. The first one was at the friendly confines of Gunning Dr, followed by a short drive to Claire Manor for a second complete dinner at "the duck’s" house. The duck’s dad, I guess that would make him "the mallard", stated that I probably consumed around 10 or 11 thousand calories that day, hearing that is kinda sickening, eh, what can you do.
Just some things that are running around in my Skitoliv brain:
* Cameron Diaz informed the populace that she and former man-bander/sexy-backer Justin Timberlake have no plans to get married despite their dating for almost four years. Good for you Cameron! This proves that people in Hollywood read "Thoughts in a Skitoliv World". If you remember, earlier I stated that no Hollywood couple should get married as it is just going to end in a divorce. Reader Judith pointed out that Goldie and Kurt have been together for years and show no signs of ending their relationship; yet they remain un-married. Though I think the real sticking point is that Cameron can’t look at JT without laughing at his statement of "bringing sexy back." (note we here at the Skitoliv World promise to never ever ever attempt to bring sexy back, we never lost it, therefore have no need to bring it back)
*The "Do You Actually Listen to the words that come out of your own mouth" award of the week goes to both Suge Knight and 50 Cent. Suge called Snoop Dogg a narc and whiny puking rat. Fiddy, called Oprah an Oreo, which I understand to mean she acts "black" on the outside and "white" on the inside. I think that that is all that needs to be said about that.
* Michael "I have lots of black friends" Richards; the former Seinfeld star and unfunny stand-up comedian has received support from the one person who understands him, Mel Gibson. Quote, "I feel really badly for the guy. He was obviously in a state of stress. You don’t need to be inebriated to be bent out of shape." Yes Melroy, that is true. You also do not need to be inebriated to spill your true feelings about race to the public. A lot of people saw "The Passion", so they know your opinion Mel.
*The Hollywood feud of the week belongs to Skitoliv World Favorite Nicole "I am almost back to my birth weight" Ritchie and her now former stylist. Apparently this is big news and they are fighting about something and there is lots of goings back and forth about this something, ah the heck with it, who really gives a rats ass?
* I would like to make a comment about Britney Spears (24, pop star and mother of two) stating that Paris Hilton (25, amateur porn star and…what is it that she does again?) is "her role model". This is one of the greatest quotes ever to be uttered in the history of the world. Look Brit, while the Skitoliv World has openly mocked you (a lot), do not use the Skank of The Century (aka Paris) as your role model. You already sold millions of albums, and Paris well apparently she has some sort of album out but damn if you can figure out who bought it. You did the now so-bad-it is good, and Selena Kangs favorite, movie "Crossroads". Paris did "One Night in Paris" and "House of Wax". You should be her role model and not the other way around. Did you not learn from your involvement with K-Fed? This is going to end badly. Also, the World is now taking wagers on how soon there are rumors about a sex tape involving the power couple (Paris and Britney). We say next week.
*Thursday Night Football
CINCY over Baltimore - for the few people that actually get the NFL network, you will see a battle but I think Cincy’s Offense has hit its stride.
