Paris Hilton and the NFL week 1
"Paris Hilton arrested for DUI"
Note: Author again realizes that he is violating his promise not to discuss Paris Hilton in any way shape or form, but he though that this was too important not to mention.
This news may even be better than the pictures of Suri Cruise. Party Girl Paris was arrested for DUI. She also says that her feelings have been hurt and oh for the love of god who cares.
The fact that this amateur porn star has become such a celebrity is very upsetting to me. People giving tacit approval of the way she carries on in her life, because they like to see the train wreck that she is becoming (see also Lohan, Lindsay). She has managed to stretch her 15 minutes into 2 years now, and is on my list of people I have no interest in knowing anything about.
That said, on with the Picks:
(no spreads and the home team is in caps)
PITTSBURGH over Miami(this pick was made before the game)
Denver over ST.LOUIS - Does it really matter who the running back is? STL is going to surprise some people, but Denver is a bonafide Superbowl contender.
TENNESSEE over New Jersey Jets - Both of these teams are terrible, but somebody has to win.
NEW ENGLAND over Buffalo - Brady is ticked off still from last years playoffs, look out league. Do you really think a QB named J.P. is going to win in Foxboro?
TAMPA BAY over Baltimore - Amazingly I am picking a team lead by Chris Simms (the worst QB in the league not named Alex Smith).
Cincinnati over KANSAS CITY - The Bengals Defense may wish they actually were in prison after LJ and trent Green get done with them. The Problem for the Chefs is that they will be unable to stop Carson and CJ.
Seattle over DETROIT - You have to think that having a coach get arrested for DUI/and DWN (driving while nude - thought: maybe he was with Paris Hilton?) is going to affect your team.
CAROLINA over Atlanta - DeAngelo "The Cheapshotter" Hall violated the rule against trash talking at Steve Smith. Bad Hammys or not, I think he plays and torches the over-rated Falcons.
Philadelphia over HOUSTON - Wait, you mean the Texans took an under-performing DE over Reggie "The most Dynamic college player ever" Bush? Wow. You wonder how Houston was going to regress more from going 2-14 last year, but that is a good start.
New Orleans over CLEVELAND - Cleveland has had 9 different centers this preseason.
Dallas over JACKSONVILLE - Bledsoe makes people think he can play, T.O scores a TD and proceeds to kiss Coach Parcells full on the lips.
GREEN BAY over Chicago - Brett Favre is the greatest player ever, everyone says so, so it must be true. Therefore, the greatest player ever can never lose and it is a shame that he has to do it all himself and none of the 5 interceptions are his fault. (note that was sarcasm. Chicago wins)
ARIZONA over San Francisco - People will now get excited and think that the Cardinals are poised for a run to the playoffs, but wait, these are the Cardinals so therefore they have no shot.
Indy over NEW JERSEY GIANTS - I actually hope that a meteorite hits the stadium so we can stop with this nonsense about the Mannings.
WASHINGTON over Minnesota - I could actually care less about this game if I tried, but it would be hard. Minnesota has no idea what it is doing personnel wise.
Sand Diego over OAKLAND - Oakland is truly the most clueless franchise on the planet.
