Thoughts in a Skitoliv World

"Hey! How you doin’?", "I am ok." A seemingly innocuous answer to a friendly question. Usually, this question is asked in passing, with the ask-er not really caring how the askee is doing. However, many friends and family members actually do care how you are feeling. There must be something wrong with my tone because when I say "I am ok", lately I am inevitably asked a follow up question, "Why? What is wrong?" I was unaware it was not a good thing to simply be ‘ok’; or why people automatically think that something is wrong with me because I am simply ‘ok’. It is not to say I do not appreciate the concern over my well being, that means a lot to me, but, like most guys, I am not what you would call "open" with my feelings.

During the past two years, I would usually answer that question with the response of "hectic" or "frazzled" or even "annoyed". These feelings could be chalked up to my crazy schedule of school and work, so I was never asked the "why" question. I wonder if I answered that now, would I get the same "why" question, or would people want to know why I am hectic/annoyed/frazzled because school is over.

I think that being "ok" is actually a summation of a bunch of different feelings. Several of these feelings are polar opposites, therefore making the overall mood of a person right in the middle which, to me is "ok". With this in mind, here is why I am simply "ok".

Work is particularly slow during August, so my mood could be described as "bored." Romantically, Lauren and I are enjoying the havoc caused by our refusal to label our relationship so "amused" and "happy" fits that part of my emotional make-up. Socially, everything is "fine" between my friends and I, no outstanding acrimony that I am aware of. I am "frustrated" with the Red Sox, "apathetic" towards the Phillies, and "anxious" about the start of the Pats and Eagles seasons. "Stoked" for this weekend at the lake. "Giddy with excitement" for the impending nuptials of Emma and Mark. "Annoyed" with my attempts to figure out what is going on with my moving and, "Upset" with the events of the other day.

All of these feelings are currently swirling about in my psyche. I wonder if when I am asked how I am, if I should answer with all of that or sum it up with the simple answer of, "I am ok." Is that ok?

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