Thoughts in a Skitoliv World

We all shall finally have the answer to a question that has plagued mankind for years; "Who’s side is god on in a sporting event?"

The answer will hopefully not be "scientology." The "church" of scientology is sponsoring a car in one of NASCAR’s minor leagues this weekend. The car will have an erupting volcano with Dianetics on the hood of the car, in homage to the great prophet LL (bean) Ron "I am the worse science fiction author ever but one hell of a religious figurine" Hubbard. I truly hope that the driver of this car is Cole Trickle.

Now, if the car wins the race does that mean that God favors the scientologist? Is the driver a scientologist? His crew chief, his crew? If they are not would they sabotage the car intentionally so scientology can not claim victory? Has scientology decided that they have secured enough of Hollywood that the next field for them to conquer is the NASCAR crowd? Will the driver jump on a couch and yell that he loves Katie Holmes and is not gay?

This does open a door for all religions to start sponsoring cars. I look forward to seeing the Number 8 "Budweiser/Jesus Saves" car dueling with the Number 20 "Home Depot/ Priase be to Allah; Death to the Infidel" car. Will the fistfights that occasionally occur now be because the driver of the number 2 "Miller Lite/Church of Latter Day Saints" car thought that the driver of the number 22 "Tide/Buddah" car is wrong in preaching peace and the idea of Nirvana scares him?

In all honesty, I believe that the driver of this scientology car will have a tremendous bulls-eye on him. The other drivers might trry to wreck him just to prove that scientology does not work. Though most likely, NASCAR just sees sponsorship dollars and does not care where it comes from.

Few other thoughts:

*Memo to the Tuesday Night kickball league…IT IS ONLY FREAKIN KICKBALL and I am not losing any sleep over any of my calls. Leave it on the field and stop acting like 2-yr olds.

*The NBA finals started last night, and I am actually glad that there are new teams in the finals, not that I will watch, but I am sure it is good for the league. My predictions, Dirk and the Mavs beat Shaq-Fu and the Heat in 5 games, Dirk wins MVP, Mark Cuban gets fined at least twice and then proceeds to moon David Stern during the trophy presentation.

*How is it that the Sox let themselves get beat buy a guy named Melky? Plus now that Sheff is out till September, isn’t it amazing that all these steroid guys are breaking down?

*If you have never had Pilsner-Urquell, I highly reccommend picking up a six pack, it is tasty.

*Off to Clarendon tonite, looks to be another crazy time.

This entry was posted on Friday, June 9th, 2006 at 8:40 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.