Thoughts in a Skitoliv World

I must admit, despite the fact that my beloved country absoulutely sucks at soccer/futbol, I am hooked on the World Cup. I really think it is one of the greatest sporting events in the world. I honestly have found myself enjoying every minute of the games. The fans of the countries are hilarious. They stand and cheer and sing through every minute of every game, living and dying with every goal and every result. I think it would be fantastic to see this euphoria translate into American Football games, though then you would have someone yelling at you to sit down. That said I figure I would give you my predictions of the final eight teams.

Germany vs Argentina - The Argentinians have looked stellar in the early matches and Germany has given the home crowd lots to cheer about. I have to go with Germany here, as the home court advantage really matters in soccer. Winner - Germany, in penalty kicks.

Italy vs Ukraine - The Ukies have benefited from playing the softest competition in the cup. Italy has looked lackluster for most of the tournament, plus they were tied by the USA and only beat Australia thanks to the referees. I will pick the Italians because they are a much more talented team then the Ukrainians. Winner - Italy, 1-0.

England vs Portugal - I believe this match will be the best of the quarterfinals. The Portugese had years of not living up to their potential, including a devastating loss to the USA four years ago. This time around they have been playing lights out and are undefeated in their first four games. The English have been doing just enough to win their matches, despite playing fairly uninspired soccer. Winner - Portugal 3-2 in overtime

Brazil vs France - Brazil is equivalent to the 1960’s Boston Celtics, 1990’s Chicago Bulls, and 2000’s New England Patriots. They are the best in the world, time and time again. France is one of the few countries in the world tha thas success against the Brazilians, defeating them in the World Cup Finals in 1998, but that was in Paris, so screw the French. Winner - Brazil 2-0

So that sets up semi-finals:

Germany v Italy - Germany carries hometown momentum over the Italians. Since the World Cup resumed after WWII, either Germany or Brazil has played in every World Cup Final except one (1972 when Argentina defeated the Netherlands). This Year is no different as the krauts push through to contend for the finals. Winner - Germany 2-0

Brazil v Portugal - It is very very difficult to pick against the Brazilians. Plus I am still not all that convinced that Portugal will beat the Brits. Brazil - 1-0, in OT

Finals:

Germany v Brazil - Much like in 1998, a superior Brazil team will fall to the hometown heros. Germany 1-0.

Hey!  The USA was eliminated from the World Cup today. I speak for people everywhere when I say, whop-de-freakin-doo! I had fallen into a trap. Four years ago, I followed the Americans unlikely run into the quarterfinals and really enjoyed the world cup games played in Korea. Perhaps it was that I already knew what happened in the games so I could enjoy each USA victory.

This year, Team USA looked to build on that success and all we had been hearing about was how this is the best USA team ever. That they were going to shock the world. Well, they did not shock the world, they shocked the country by how bad they played. The rest of the world already knew that team USA would not be a serious contender. The American marketing machine had absolutely no clue.

The Czech’s were vastly superior, the Italians made a mistake that caused a tie, thus setting up today’s dramatic clash with the powerful nation of Ghana. The Americans needed a victory, coupled with a Czech loss to Italy to advance into the round of 16 and a match-up with Brazil. I mean really, what’s the point? Even if team USA had managed to defeat the Ghanese, does anyone in their right mind think they can beat the juggernaut that is Brazil?

Soccer is never going to be as popular in the US as football and baseball. I have no real theory on why that is. It is a fast game, lots of action, with colorful players, it should be one of the most popular games in the country. Maybe it is due to team USA’s continued failure on the world stage or maybe it is because American’s do not like seeing games end in a tie, soccer continues to struggle.

Like many young Americans, I played soccer in my youth. I then played on intra-mural teams in college for my fraternity. I should have a major point of attachment to watching the game, based on my prior experiences, yet, I find the MLS to be ridiculous. The World Cup does offer much better viewing experiences. Mark and I watched several games during the first weekend of the tournament, and Ken and I made it a point to interrupt our Saturday to watch the USA/Italy match (plus we drank an awful lot of beer and acted like hooligans, so it was not a total waste). Soccer will continue to struggle, in my humble opinion, until the USA stops loosing matches to teams like Ghana and Morocco (countries that should not be able to beat the USA in anything).

Ah well, the next chance for embarrassment comes in four years in South Africa, which is good as we will already know the outcome of the games before they are shown on TV, therefore knowing whether or not we should waste our time cheering in vain. Go England, Go Netherlands!

Delaware needs a Chipotle. I have reached the conclusion that DE really needs a Chipotle. Taco Bell is no longer cutting it for my Burrito needs. I need the perceieved better quality that Chipotle offers.

My thoughts tend to wander to a Barbacoa Burrito, with sour cream, green salsa and lots of cheese. Do not try to sway me from my goal by throwing Big Macs or Whoppers at me, they do not tempt me. I need a Burrito from Chipotle.

I really do not know why I love this semi-fast food restaurant so much. It really does hit the spot, like a brick in your stomach. I must have Chipotle NOW!!!

One of my favorite places to rock the casbah is the Clarendon Grill in Clarendon, VA. Friday night, Emma, Mark, Kenric "The Red Warrior", Molly, Matt (Molly’s roomate, Gregor the Mad, Selena Kyle, Samwise and I, went there to see Chorduroy play. Chorduroy (www.chorduroy.com) is a cover band that plays lots of fun upbeat music, everything from Cyndi Lauper’s "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" to Modest Mouse’s "Float On". They are not stop on stage, linking one song right into the next one, the lead singer does an excellent job of keeping the crowd entertained, and the band plays everything with great enthusiasm, truly rockin’ out.

Over the past two years we have had several nights at the Grill, and all of them have become legendary. There was the night of "Why is there a silver bug following me around Dupont Circle?". The night that we encompassed the entire dance floor with various groups of friends, and everyone was hammered. The night that I won a round of drinks because the Sox defeated the Yankees, and girl did not realize the game was over, and on and on.

I do not know why this place has become such an epic location for us. I guess it is the combination of good friends, great fun, and lots of alcohol. I hope we are always able to go there and pretend we are still as young as we think we are.

We all shall finally have the answer to a question that has plagued mankind for years; "Who’s side is god on in a sporting event?"

The answer will hopefully not be "scientology." The "church" of scientology is sponsoring a car in one of NASCAR’s minor leagues this weekend. The car will have an erupting volcano with Dianetics on the hood of the car, in homage to the great prophet LL (bean) Ron "I am the worse science fiction author ever but one hell of a religious figurine" Hubbard. I truly hope that the driver of this car is Cole Trickle.

Now, if the car wins the race does that mean that God favors the scientologist? Is the driver a scientologist? His crew chief, his crew? If they are not would they sabotage the car intentionally so scientology can not claim victory? Has scientology decided that they have secured enough of Hollywood that the next field for them to conquer is the NASCAR crowd? Will the driver jump on a couch and yell that he loves Katie Holmes and is not gay?

This does open a door for all religions to start sponsoring cars. I look forward to seeing the Number 8 "Budweiser/Jesus Saves" car dueling with the Number 20 "Home Depot/ Priase be to Allah; Death to the Infidel" car. Will the fistfights that occasionally occur now be because the driver of the number 2 "Miller Lite/Church of Latter Day Saints" car thought that the driver of the number 22 "Tide/Buddah" car is wrong in preaching peace and the idea of Nirvana scares him?

In all honesty, I believe that the driver of this scientology car will have a tremendous bulls-eye on him. The other drivers might trry to wreck him just to prove that scientology does not work. Though most likely, NASCAR just sees sponsorship dollars and does not care where it comes from.

Few other thoughts:

*Memo to the Tuesday Night kickball league…IT IS ONLY FREAKIN KICKBALL and I am not losing any sleep over any of my calls. Leave it on the field and stop acting like 2-yr olds.

*The NBA finals started last night, and I am actually glad that there are new teams in the finals, not that I will watch, but I am sure it is good for the league. My predictions, Dirk and the Mavs beat Shaq-Fu and the Heat in 5 games, Dirk wins MVP, Mark Cuban gets fined at least twice and then proceeds to moon David Stern during the trophy presentation.

*How is it that the Sox let themselves get beat buy a guy named Melky? Plus now that Sheff is out till September, isn’t it amazing that all these steroid guys are breaking down?

*If you have never had Pilsner-Urquell, I highly reccommend picking up a six pack, it is tasty.

*Off to Clarendon tonite, looks to be another crazy time.

I have a new crisis in my life. I enjoy the television program "The Simpsons" immensely; it is the only TV program I make sure I watch during the week. My sisters and I quote lines from the show at each other all the time. I recently learned, thanks mark, that the woman who does the voice of Bart is a scientologist.

I, like many others, think that scientology is one of the biggest joke/scams ever perpetrated on the public. It does not help that most scientologists sound like absolute wackos when they talk about it. They actually believe that an alien emperor blew up a volcano many eons ago and that dead spirits are attached to you. True, this is no stranger than believing in transubstantiation, that God sent his only son to die, or that Mohammad moved the mountain. I suppose it is my Catholic background that makes me look askance at scientology.

Let me back up. Last year I reached the conclusion that I could no longer support anyone who followed scientology. This was based on the lunatic ramblings of Tom Cruise. The high muckedty-mucks of scientology should really put a gag order on him, as every time he opens his mouth he really makes them look worse in the public eye. Anyway, i figured that if I went and saw Tom Cruise’s movie that the money I spent would make its way to him and therefore make its way to support scientology, therefore I would be supporting a terrorist organization. I just can not support this so called "religion".

I then branched out my philosophy to not supporting any movie with a scientologist at the helm. Of course John Travolta can no longer be watched, which is a shame as I do like Pulp Fiction and Get Shorty. Giovanni Ribissi (who is one of the least talent people ever by the way) is as well, but based on my prior comment, you can guess that I already did not support him. Also, he is not good-looking.

My mother then informed me that Jason Lee (Mallrats, Dogma, My Name is Earl) is a rabid scientologist, so I can no longer watch him. However, Jason Lee provides the voice of Syndrome in "The Incredibles" which is a movie that I own and enjoy immensely. The question that comes up is the same as with that of my new problem with the Simpsons. Can I watch these two programs even though the scientologist themself is not on the screen but they are contributing by providing their voices? The characters that they are enabling are not scientologists, Bart actually recently converted to Catholicism, and Syndrome, well he is a megalomaniac so he may be a scientologist but that is never addressed in the film. Though would I then be hypocritical in not watching a Tom Cruise/John Travolta movie because I disagree with their beliefs, even though their characters are not scientologists, at least we are not told that they are.

So there we have it. Do I stick to my guns in not supporting scientologists, or do I continue to watch a program that I have enjoyed for years?