Thoughts in a Skitoliv World

I have reached the conclusion that my real problem with the olympics was NBC’s presentation of the games. Robert and I were discussing how we really enjoyed the winter games in past years but not this one, and I realized it was because NBC was horrendous at televising the games. My main irritation was the fact that all of the gold medal events were shown at 1130 PM EST. I am sorry but that is just plain stupid. There is no way they can expect people on the east coast and even midwest to stay up that late to see an event that they already know the results to becuase the internet and news have been reporting on it. On Friday night, they finally showed the first womens GS race at 10pm, the gold medal winning run by julia mancuso wazs not shown until 1145pm!!! Do you know what they were showing (here it comes) FIGURE SKATING!!!! Yet not just any figure skating, the champions event, which is an unjudged event for no prizes. Also, it seems that you just had to have competed at the Olympics to be invited to skate here. I would understand it, if it was the gold silver and bronze winners from the 4 skating events, yet Johnny the Swan was there him in all his 5th place glory. This is the last time I will ever make a statement about figure skating; I dislike it, it is insane to try and watch it, the judging is ludicrous, it should no longer be in the olympics and NBC should stop trying to force it down my throat. THAT IS IT! GOODNIGHT NOW!!!

My new irritation is people talking on their cell phones in public…..more to follow!

I have decided that I have been mistaken. Figure Skating is the worlds greatest sport. It must be! The judges are such experts that they are able to determine that one skater is .03 better than another person. Wow! They are able to see that Sasha was .03 better than Irina. This is amazing!I think that figure skating judges need to be in charge of determining everything that needs voting on. We the figure skating judges have decided that candidate A is .0000006789321% better than candidate B, therefore they should be the next president. After much deliberation we have decided that Michaelangelo’s "David" is .000000000007832 better than Rodin’s "The Thinker" therefore "The Thinker" sucks. Everything needs to be measured to that exacting of a standard. I no longer want to hear that something is just better. I want to know how much better down to the last decimal place, otherwise I will not be able to sleep. I will not be able to accept that Brokeback Mountain is the best picture this year unless the Academy comes out and says it is better than Munich, Good Night and Good Luck or whatever other crap is nominated, by .03. I think that that much is owed to the people.

Reason Number 765 that Figure Skating is ridiculous. An analyst actually said that Sasha Cohen can lose the gold medal if she smiles in the wrong place or makes a hand motion at the wrong time. I can just see the post skate interview. "Sasha why in the world did you think you should smile 2.5 minutes into your program. You do realize that that cost you the gold medal?!" "Actually I think I lost because I rotated my hand clockwise 3.25 minutes into the program. If I had only rotated it counter-clockwise I would be on the wheaties box! *cry, cry cry*". That may have been the most absurd thing anyone has ever said in regards to figure skating. Yet, this must be nerve wracking to these athletes knowing that if the judges do not find their presentation to be as "artistic" as another skater that they won’t win. Yet whatever, figure skating is what it is, Go Sasha, Go Emily, Go Kimmy!

Quick Shots:

1. Bode rolled his ankle playing basketball before the slalom. Why the hell are you playing basketball instead of focusing on your race?!?!?! Does anyone else get the opinion that this cat is giving everyone a big "F-U" over the olympics. Like or not Bode, you are in the limelight and I am sorry if you do not like it. If you do not want it, than quit skiing and go back to your cabin in New Hampshire, trust me the world will go on with out you and your waste of talent. What a jackass!

2. Princess Johnny "The Swan" Weir has been recieving hate mail over his performance at the olympic. Yes, "The Swan Princess" did not do so well after making enough noise to deafen Pete Townshed, but if people have to write hate mail to a male figure skater than they have much deeper issues.

3. Is there a bigger idiot on the planet than Lindsey Jacobellis? Way to cost yourself a couple million dollars in endorsements. Your window is only so large. Congrats, at least people will associate you now with the likes of Bill BUckner and Leon Lett."Way to pull a Jacobellis on that" has a nice ring to it.

4. The US men’s hockey team failed to medal. Are we really surprised. When you only throw the guys together for a couple of days before the olympics, they are bound to look terrible.

5. Shani Davis and Chad Hendrick might be the biggest feud over nothing.

Fortunately it is four more years until Vancouver. I hope that by that point the US is able to put up some credible XC-skiers, Ski Jumpers, Biathaletes and Lugers.

"I missed the bus. They changed the schedule. … I was late getting here and never caught up. I never felt comfortable in this building. I didn’t feel my inner peace, I didn’t feel my aura. Inside I was black."  - Princess Johnny Weir after finishing 5th in the Olympics.

Reason number 601 that Figure Skating is ridiculous - Johnny Weir. Ok so here we have a self proclaimed "Princess" who enjoys dressing like a swan, and wears women’s clothing because "he is so small that men’s clothing does not fit him." Look, I am all in favor of flamboyant characters. The problem is that you need to be able to back up your actions and your words. After the loss "The Swan" showed his Diva side by storming out of the ICE ARENA and refused to speak to reporters. Kid, you are the one trying to be the star of the show, so if you are going to talk smack, you need to face the music when you fall on your ass. Now instead of looking like this fun-flamboyant character, you look like a petulant child who really needs to be put in the corner for a "time-out" or smacked, whichever disciplinary choice you favor. The good news is we do not need to see you and your attempts to look like a swan for another four years. NBC must be kicking themselves that the people they chose to make the focus of the Olympics; Bode, Michelle, and now Princess Johnny have all crashed and burned. I guess there is a reason you do not see to many swans running around on the ice.

The Winter Olympics got under way last week and like most people I was surprised to see it snuck up on us like that. Let me preface my following statements by saying that I do love the Olympics, I think it is a truly fantastic event. I love the pagentry, the lesser known events, and even the sappy stories that they show us of all the adversity every athlete had to overcome to get there. Here is what I hate; NBC seems to believe that the Winter Olympics needs to be a 2-week celebration of Ice Skating. You watch the winter games coverage and all they show all the time is Ice Skating. Again I will preface my statement by saying that all Ice Skaters are tremendous athletes especially at this level. What they do, does require tremendous athleticism, I know I could not do it. Ice Skating is not a sport. I believe that the last Olympics proved that all events with any kind of subjectivity involved in it should be discarded. I really can not see how any of these "judges" can say, "oh you did not spin as fast as the other skater so you lose .1 of a point". Also, Ice Skating involves "artistic" marks. What the heck is that? Talk about subjectivity of all subjectivity! Ice Skating proved that it has no real idea as to who is better when in the pairs competition, the couple from China fell down and still won the silver. In my mind, you fell you do not deserve a medal, even I can see that you are not better than anyone when you fall. You notice that in Skiing, when the competitor falls they are out of the race. Skating should do the same

Quick Hits:

1. Bode continues to choke away his chance to become an icon, no shock there. If you talk about skiing wasted and take shots at Lance and Bonds, you had better be able to back it up.

2. Memo to Johnny Wier (men’s figure skating), in your NBC vignette you talk about what a bad-ass you are, was that before or after you decided to do a Short Program titled "The Swan" and make a point about how your costume looks like a swan. Does this make all the other Men’s figure skaters say "look out here comes the swan", or "Please Mr. Swan don’t hurt me" or "Oh no it’s the Swan". Just stop trying to be anything but a male figure skater.

3. Congrats to Italy’s women’s hockey team for finally scoring a goal. The Olympics needs to get rid of that rule that has the home country qualifying automatically for all team events.

4. The Canadians will beat the Czech Republic for the Gold in Men’s Hockey. The US will finish 5th or 6th.

5. Women’s Hockey is just not as exciting as Men’s. I am sorry but it is true. Canada wins here as well.

6. I hope Emily Hughes win’s the Gold just becuase of the screw job she got when the US Skating Team just had to have Michelle Kwan on the team and booted her off. How did that whole thing work for you US Skating?